


After You, My Lady

by AngryMusician



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-25 22:21:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12045480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngryMusician/pseuds/AngryMusician
Summary: Carmilla and Laura broke up a while ago but after Carmilla gets the scripts for season 3 she realizes things might be a lot more awkward than they anticipated.





	1. And so it begins

\- You’re not drinking tonight.  
\- I’m sorry, what? - You say with a hint of confusion and annoyance.  
\- I said you are not drinking… and neither am I.

You are not really sure of what is going on. What does that mean? You decide to just wait a second for Laura to elaborate.

\- I don’t want to make a scene, alright?

Whaaaaaaat? You’re too confused to even say anything. Why is Laura so sure drinking will lead to you “making a scene”? You guys broke up quite a while ago and even if you didn’t really want to it’s not like you haven’t moved on (or at least tried very hard to)

\- Listen, I’m not drinking if you don’t want me to but I think this is too much. - You wait a moment trying not to sound like a raging b…ad person about it. - Hey, we’re cool ok? - Sure, that would fix it.  
\- Ok - Laura looks slightly pleased with this. Almost as if she was expecting this conversation to be way harder than it was. -Thanks for being so understanding.  
\- Sure. 

You both move on to get ready together. After all, you’re still supposed to be really good friends who enjoy working together, right? Maybe this party won’t be so hard. You get to see your friends and spend some time with everyone before you start rehearsals and eventually recording in a few weeks. As you get to Elsie’s house you both take a moment before entering to engage “really good friends/ co-stars and surely not very awkward and confused exes” mode without making it weird.  
Laura seems to be cool about it. You can’t help but feel a little nostalgic about it all but it’s okay. At least you two still get to be friends in public, right? You still get to talk and tweet each other nice things and thats pretty much all you need. Even if it’s all fake, at least you still mean it when you acknowledge what a great person she is.

Who knows? Maybe Laura Hollis was never meant to be your girlfriend but that does not mean she was not meant to be a really good friend and, let’s be honest, who deos not want Laura “Literal Ray Of Sunshine” Hollis to be their friend? You go, Karnstein. Moving on and shit.

This, however, doesn’t last long.  
Before you know it, LaF and Perry are taking over the bar and giving free shots to everyone (which includes you) and before you can say no you see cute Miss. Hollis downing tequila like her life depends on it so why not? It’s not like she is your boss and this is a party after all.

* * *

You have no idea of what happened in the last couple hours when you’re suddenly stuck in a moving car with a stranger and LaF is smiling beside you. You try to protest but they stop you before you can even get started.  
\- Relax, Karnstein. I’m taking you home.  
\- Where are we?  
\- Uber. You… We are never allowed vodka again. Deal?  
\- Deal. - You prefer whiskey anyways. - So… Tell me tomorrow how the party went?

LaF looks at you with the most annoying grin you’ve ever seen on them. - I don’t think you’ll need a debrief. Just check your social media in the morning.  
Sure. Whatever do they mean by that.

That night you have a very confusing dream involving your co-workers, a very hairy and angry cat, jelly shots and pickle juice with scotch. Also Laura Hollis in a tank top but we don’t need to talk about that. You’re over it.  
You’re so over it you didn’t even try to kiss her when she- Wait. What? What the hell happen last night?

You try your hardest to remember last nights events and all you can come up with is Perry complaining about your glass being too full, Danny refilling glasses you hadn’t even finished yet and a very tall man teaching you, much to your amusement, how to fight with a sword.  
Those bits of memory, however, only make up about 8 minutes of yesterdays party so you’re still blank about the rest.

LaF mentioned something about social media, right? Maybe there’s something there.  
You pray to every god you can think of that they didn’t let you tweet your drunk feelings out.  
You go over to look at your phone when you find a weird make shift envelope in your purse with Elsie’s writing on it that says “Keep your shit together, Carmilla. Call me once the hangover passes.” Inside that envelope is an object that resembles your phone with some mud and a cracked screen but it can’t be, right?

Right?

You click the lock button and sure enough your lock screen shows up trough the cracks.

Well fuck everything.

You’re never drinking again. At least the screen still works.  
Your battery is almost dead but you do get the immediate information you need. It’s almost noon, you’ve gained 500 more twitter followers and you have a massive list of unread messages.

Nope, there is no way you are doing this without coffee and also maybe some aspirin. If you are going to witness the events that gave you this headache, at least you will do so with the comfort of a warm mug in your hands.

You decide to check your messages first and oh god are they worrying. Well, at least you have friends who care.

[6:30 pm] Kirsch: Is it a formal thing or can I take this stupid tie off??

[7:03 pm] Kirsch: Kept the tie. Lost the blazer.

[7:03 pm] Kirsch: I look like a lesbian

[7:06 pm] Kirsch: Do you even care????

[9:18 pm] Perry: wer u at? Elsie angery

[9:30 pm] LaF: If you ran away with some random girl you could have at least informed us

[9:36 pm] LaF: Also you forgot your purse

[10:48 pm] Perry: Laur is sorry. Come back and make out

[10:48 pm] Perry: Out*

[10:48 pm] Perry: UP ***

[10:49 pm] Perry: or u know if u want to

[12:07 am] Laura: I want to pretend you did not mean to send that.

[12:07 am] Elsie: Dude WTF

[12:10 am] Elsie: We said no spoilers

[1:07 am] LaF: You’re going home as soon as I find your shoes

Nice job, Karnstein.  
You still have no idea of what exactly happened but you managed to make a mess of yourself, lose your friends, make your producer angry and also maybe lose your shoes.  
You check under the bed and relief strikes as you see you got them back.

Karnstein: 1 Party: still not sure

You decide to find out a bit more before texting back and decide to go over to Instagram.  
Besides the usual “here with these babes” selfies no one seems to have posted anything about the party. That is until you remember the wonderful media outlet that is the Instagram Story.

LaF posted a couple of cops of them dancing with Danny and Perry, and Laura posted a selfie of you two with the caption “discussing season 3 secrets with this Cutie”.  
All very safe, tough. A part of your contract does specify that you have to promote in some way all events related to the show and your friendships whenever possible. 

Elsie asked you and Laura to try and act more like friends and less like weird exes online and with the fans because “Hollstein is everyones OTP and that is doing wonders for our publicity” so you try an spend some time with her during those events to keep appearances clean.

You go over to Twitter and find yourself in a confusing maelstrom of comments from the fandom talking about “the clip” and having a bunch of “feels”?  
After reading a couple of them you realize they are talking about your Instagram story. Sure, you did update it with a couple of selfies with your friends but that was ir, right?

Right?

You go back to Instagram to check on your story and sure enough there is a selfie with Laura followed by a small clip of you posing with LaF and Perry. However there is something else there. Incredibly blurry and with a lot of background noise but there is a very accidental looking clip in which you can se the lower half of Elsie and some people dancing in the back. Also, trough the background noise you can sort of make out your own voice. Very softly but unmistakably yours.  
After listening to it a couple of times you can hear the words “do we really have to kiss?”


	2. Vegan Chai and Gay Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What are feelings? You don't know and also you don't care. Let's do acting.

Since the executive team came up with an elaborate lie about that kissing comment being entirely out of context and saying it was actually you discussing an awkward audition in high school or something, the fandom had seemed to calm down but you were still in trouble with Elsie.  
She had asked you to meet her for a serious talk about your relationship with Laura and also suggested going back to therapy.

You try not to take it the wrong way. In the end, therapy is a good thing for everyone and it has actually helped you a lot in the pas… but you’re over this breakup now. It’s fine. You know it was not working out for either of you and Laura seemed to be happier now, so you don’t want to screw that up as well.

That party mess was just because of all the alcohol. Nothing more.

* * *

As you walk up to the café you agreed to meet Elsie at you can’t help but notice she’s not alone. Of course Laura Hollis is in there with her. Of course.  
Whatever, it’s a work thing. It’s not like this is the exact same place where you had had your first date. Or that they were sitting at the same table you used to run lines on while filming season 1.

Whatever, you’re over it. 

\- Still with a headache, Carm? -Asked Laura in the friendliest tone ever.

\- Uh… It’s been three days. It’s long gone. -Answered you in the bitchiest tone ever.

You realize just how rude you were to her and try to fix it

\- Sorry, I’m always kinda moody before my morning coffee.

\- Yeah, I can remember

Elsie clears her throat, obviously trying to avoid whatever madness would follow that comment.  
Which by the way was totally unnecessary, right? Dealing with her pretty face is hard enough, there’s no need to make it harder by bringing up your very much dead relationship. Like, thats just rude, Hollis.

\- So - Elsie pretends nothing about this is uncomfortable and all actors need an awkwardness intervention for a role they have been playing for years because they can’t keep their relationships (or lack there of) outside of work - Do you guys have any questions about how this new season is gonna go?

\- I think I’ve got it, E- You’re suddenly interrupted by a very confused blonde.

\- Well, I?m still not quite sure about some things… - Oh god, Laura is gonna make this conversation as uncomfortable as she can, right? - Like… They broke up because they wanted different things but now they realize they want to be together but still son’t want to actually talk about it to one another because they’re like scared it won’t work again or something????

Yes, Laura will make this hard. Dammit. Also, you can’t help but notice how painfully adorable her rambling is whenever she’s thinking too hard and too fast about something.

\- Uhh, something like that. Yes. -Elsie tries to explain without referencing your actual breakup. - Carmilla broke up with Laura because she felt like Laura did not appreciate her just for who she was. Like, she’s tired of all this expectations from everyone in her life and just wants to be normal…

\- Because all vampires are normal.

\- Laura, stop. - The words are out of your mouth before you realize this is the first time you had actually talked to her by your own initiative since the breakup. - She just wants to be appreciated, not expected to save the day…

This comment led up to the weirdest silence you’ve ever been a part of before. Its like suddenly everyone forgot how to communicate with words. Elsie looks a bit surprised by your answer and Laura’s eyes are kind of dancing from one empty spot to another like she is solving calculus in her head.

\- Well, yes. But that does not mean she is doing everything right. -Elsie came back with a challenging look. As if she were selling the plot to you. - Laura feels betrayed by her. It was wrong of her to expect Carmilla to stay by her side no matter what but it still hurt when she didn’t…

\- I - Laura hesitates for a moment, like she’s looking for the right words to say something. - I think they just need to talk about it. Like, just be honest and say what they think and what they want.

\- Yeah, from what I’ve read it looks like they are both just waiting for casual sex and heart eyes to fix their relationship for them.

That was very classy, Karnstein.

\- Yeah, you’re both right. The thing is, Laura and Carmilla are idiots. - Elsie looks at you with a tiny smirk. - They are each so worried about the other not wanting them back that they forget about showing their own “wants”.

\- But they do show it. - You say. Looking at Elsie with massive heart eyes and producing the fakes sigh in the history of womankind.

-Yes, Carm. But they are as vague as it can get. It’s almost as if they do it because it slips out and not because they want to - Laura answers.

You realize a little too late that you turned to look at her still with heart eyes and try to slowly transition them into a confused thinking face. God, you’re pathetic. 

\- You’re right. They’re idiots. - Nice save, Karnstein. That didn’t look desperate at all. 

You notice Laura looking at you from the corner of your eye so you try to look back at her with a friendly smile.

\- Well, yeah. - Elsie looks at both of you with a tiny smirk before continuing. - So I want you both to keep that in mind while you play scenes together. You guys are kind of mad at each other but deep down you know that you want to get back together, right? You, - she shays while pointing a finger at you - are still mad at Laura for killing your sister and expecting you to agree to anything she might ever come up with while still feeling like no one will ever love you again the way she did and knowing you’ll never love anyone as much as you’ve grown to love her and you, - she says while turning both her face and finger towards Laura now - know it was wrong take her for granted and really want to respect her decision of breaking up with you while still knowing you would do anything for her just to see her smile because for some stupid reason this angry and annoying vampire has stolen your heart and has become the reason you want to fight another day. Because you do want your friends to live happy and free lives, yes, but you can’t possibly see yours without this broody useless goofball by your side.

You all spend at least a whole minute in silence just staring at each other in agreement. Yes, this is happening and you are going to act the hell out of this script.

\- Now, - Elsie interrupts the post-speech solidarity silence. - Lets talk about sentient buildings.

* * *

After defining that the library will most definitely hate you while rewarding Laura with cupcakes and deciding which nicknames would Carmilla use for her, your coffee meeting seems to get easier by the minute. You learn that Laura is going to be even more awkward this season and Carmilla will get to be a rebellious 300 year old teenager in front of Papa Hollis.

You also learned not to question the space whale and that there will be a cool fight scene with Danny and Perry. Also you’ll have to make a list of consecutive curse words you will yell at Perry for the editors to bleep out. This will be particularly fun because you are given freedom to choose the words you say and they will remain a secret for the rest of the cast until you yell them out on camera. Nice.

After an hour of revising more details and honestly like four vegan chai.lattes, Laura said she had to go and left you alone with Elsie. Dod, were you not ready for that conversation. 

\- So… Will you be okay?

\- What? With books randomly falling on my head? Yeah, It’ll be fine.

\- Thats not what I mean, Carmilla.

\- Then what is it? - You half expect Elsie to drop it but you know damn well you need to have this conversation with her at some point.

\- I mean looking at Laura straight in the eye and telling her you love her without breaking your tiny gay heart?

Sometimes you wonder if Elsie has ever heard of subtlety or if she just doesn’t care.

\- Yeah, I thought about it and I think it will be fine. - You say while trying to convince yourself of exactly the same thing.

\- Don’t think I’m an idiot, Carmilla. I know this has been really hard for you and I-

\- Yes, it was hard but I’m over it now, okay? It’s all better now and, besides, I’m an actor, right? This is what I do. - You hesitate a moment trying to convince Elsie you are in fact fine. - I’m basically a professional lier. Don’t worry about it… But you should add that “tiny gay heart” thing into the script. That shit is gold.

Elsie looks at you like she didn’t believe anything you just said. But still decides to go with it.

\- Well, I just want you to know that I’ll be here for you if you ever need to talk, okay?

\- Sure, Love. Thanks for understanding.

\- Fuck off.

* * *

Once you get home you start actually reading your scripts in depth. After a couple episodes you are entirely submerged in this world that you’ve worked for before and suddenly a fucking massive wave of memories strike you.  
You had almost forgotten how it had all started and now, looking back at it, you can’t help but let out a bitter laugh. You fell in love with your scene partner and maybe you didn’t realize that she’s such a good actor she even made you believe she loved you back.

It was all you, wasn’t it? It all just happened in your head. While you had convinced yourself that this amazing blonde was falling for you as hard as the earth would allow, maybe she was just going out on uncomfortable dates with a girl she took to long to realize she was not that attracted to after all.  
Maybe, Laura Hollis was just such a committed actor that she even took the time to would this fake connection with you just so it would show on screen and you were just so fragile and alone that you confused that with actual love.

Maybe it was all your fault. If Laura was just dating you to try something different out, it’s no wonder she left after you asked her to move in. You miscalculated your relationship. You saw it as something bigger and deeper than it ever was and scared Laura away.

Well, it’s too late to do anything about that now. Yes, Laura is an amazing actress but so are you. And you decide you are gonna prove that to yourself by disconnecting any feelings you might have had for Laura the actress and still pull off this amazing love story with Laura the character. Because you are way more than just a tiny broken gay heart.

And also, you’ll be getting paid to make out with a very hot girl. So, whatever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fell into a weird dark hole while writing this and I can hear the ghost of my ex yelling at me. Sorry for the feelings.

**Author's Note:**

> I am truly very sorry.


End file.
